Just Reading and Writing!

Ed was getting ready for his first night out with his new found friends.  He had only just moved into his apartment and he felt that it was important that he made a good impression with 'the lads', as they called themselves, so he had showered and shaved with great care.  It was a shame that his otherwise immaculate appearance was marred by a wisp of slightly bloody toilet paper adhering to his cheek.  But then he wasn't used to shaving yet, especially not with the three-bladed, shave-as-close-as-you-can razors.  Nevertheless he had made a real effort - his best shirt had been ironed to his satisfaction (eventually) and he had on his newest and smartest trousers.  After a final, practiced flick of the comb to his slicked hair, he stood back and admired himself.  Then with due consideration he undid the top two buttons of the shirt - NOW he was ready!  He posed in front of the mirror, turning first this way and then that.

'Looking good!' he thought to himself, and he was still primping and preening when a car horn blew.  Peering through the window he saw Chalky, Errol and Peck waving from the rusting and dented white Ford escort, from which L-plates hung crookedly.  He checked his pockets for money and keys, slung a jacket over his shoulder and paused only to slam the door, before trotting to the car. 

The driver was a pretty, dark haired girl called Deeanna who had driven Ed's friends on several occasions.  She was 18 and painfully shy, and hoped to take her driving test soon, with the help of Peck.  She also wanted to take a beautician's course when she left school and through Peck she had found out about Ed's contacts at the College.  Therefore a lift in return for useful names and hints seemed a very fair exchange.

The trip was jerky and fortunately uneventful and it was with relief that they arrived at the Community Centre where she maneuvered the car awkwardly into a parking space.

"That'll bring the tone down nicely!" laughed Errol, wickedly as he eyed the silver BMW and the red Volvo on either side of them.

"See you later, Deeana," called Peck.  "Don't forget you're driving me and Ed and Chalky home as well!"

Entering through the double doors, the friends swaggered over to the counter, where they ordered drinks all round and chatted up the pretty girl who was serving.  They settled themselves round the table in the corner where Ed folded his best jacket carefully, placed it on the seat beside him, and surveyed the room.  At the far end he could just make out Katya, with her beautiful blonde hair, legs that led a man's thoughts astray and a figure to die for!  He had admired her from afar for ages.  He remembered that when he had first met her in the drycleaners, she had seemed so exotic, so foreign; a Yugoslavian refugee, with an accent that sent a shiver down his back.  And her eyes!  He had assumed that they would be blue, but they were green.  Cat's eyes, he thought, and watched the feline grace with which she moved.  He gazed mistily at her but the sharp prod of Peck�s elbow into his rib cage brought him back to the present with a jerk.

"Come on, let's liven the place up.  It's far too quiet.  Got any ideas?" urged Peck.

"Oh, I don't think Ed's got time for any tricks," said Errol, "he's too busy drooling over Katya!"

"No, I'm not," responded Ed hotly.  "She just happens to be sitting where I'm looking!"

"Go on!  You fancy her something rotten!" chipped in Chalky and before Ed could stop him, Errol got up unsteadily.

"Hey!  What are you doing?" asked Ed.

"I'm going to tell Katya you fancy her!"

"Not on your life!" replied Ed and he leant forward and grabbed the hem of Errol's jacket.  "Don't you dare!" he said, threateningly.

"But you know you want me to!" whinged Errol.

"All I know is that you're not going to interfere - I'll get there in my own good time!" said Ed, decisively.

"Oh alright, then, I won't.  Well, not this time anyway," and Errol sat down heavily on the nearest chair, which just happened to be occupied by a very large lady.  She was most indignant and swatted Errol about the body with her equally large handbag.

"Get off me, you clumsy oaf!  Get off!"  Her shrieks punctuated the ill-aimed blows.

"Stop it!  Help!   Help!" shouted Errol, trying to shield his body from her swipes.  "Stop hitting me, Maggie!  Let me get up!"

It took the efforts of the three friends to disembroil Errol.  Chalky, Ed and Peck were howling with laughter the whole time, tears streaming down their faces.  Of course everyone turned to look at them, and very soon the entire room was in uproar.  Only the large lady was not laughing.  She looked around carefully, arose with dignity and disappeared in the direction of the door, clutching her bag and a drink.

In the meantime, Errol had staggered back to the table and sat down again with a bump.  He reached into his pocket and pulled out a large white hanky, with which he proceeded to dab his eyes, as he too was laughing fit to burst.

"Was that lively enough for you, Peck?" he said when he had regained the power of speech.

"Aye, that'll do for now," laughed Peck.  "Oi, Ed!  It's your turn to get the drinks."

"Same again?"

"Nah!  Double whisky this time, neat, mind you.  None of your namby-pamby stuff," said Peck.  "I want the real thing, something I can really taste!"

"Mine's whisky too, on the rocks," said Chalky.

"Yeah, yeah!" said Ed, "and I suppose yours is a double whisky too, Errol?"

"No!  Pina colada I think - with an umbrella and a cherry!  And if you could get Sally to deliver it wearing a grass skirt I would be in heaven!"

"In your dreams, sunshine, in your dreams!" chuckled Ed as he fumbled in his pocket for his wallet.

When he repeated the order, Sally laughed, "Good try, Ed, but the weather's far too cold for such skimpy clothing.  And anyway you'll have to have what we've got.  Now, take these over to your mates and drink up.  And don't cause any more mischief will you?"

"As if we would," he retorted and she giggled as he gave her a saucy wink.  But he waited quietly whilst the drinks were poured and loaded onto a battered tin tray.  He hoped they wouldn't be disappointed; Sally was all out of umbrellas and cherries.  Grasping the tray with both hands, he weaved through the crowd, and placed it with deliberation in the middle of the table.  Just as he put it down, a hand touched him on the shoulder and he swung round, startled, upsetting brown liquid onto the table.

"Do you want to buy raffle ticket?  All proceeds go to Children in Need!"  Katya's voice was sultry and provocative and her smile refreshed the few parts of him that her voice did not reach.

"Oh... er... yes, I'll have ten," said Ed and dug deep into his pockets again for money and so did his mates.

"Hey, Katya!  D'you want to dance with Ed, after dinner?  He fancies you, he does!" called out Errol, before Ed could stop him.

"I might, if he ask me!" smiled Katya, coyly, her face creasing with pleasure.

Ed blushed and stuttered something and handed over a fistful of coins for his tickets.

After a roast beef and Yorkshire pudding dinner had been eaten with relish and lemon meringue pie scraped noisily out of the dishes, Ed plucked up his courage and sought out Katya.  The music started and with determination he grasped her hand firmly and led her onto the floor, to the cheers and whistles of Errol, Peck and Chalky.

He could have danced the night away with his dream girl, but eventually the music stopped and the lights were switched on.

"Is it the same time next week?"  He asked Katya.

"Yes, same time every week," she responded.

"Will you be coming too?"

"Yes, if jailers let me," she replied.

"Well," said Ed, "if you're stuck I could come and break you out and then we could get Deeanna to drive us!  Peck says she's taking her test on Monday."

"Oh, that would be much fun!  Would you have to use rope ladder to get me out of window?  I'm not sure I climb down rope ladder very well."

"No!  Knotted bed sheets of course, and I'd throw you over my shoulder!  One has to do these things properly, you know!"

Katya laughed and looked at him over the rim of her spectacles,

"You know, you look much better without beard?  It make you look young!  Shaving it off for Children in Need was good thing to do, Ed!"

"It was worth it!  I got an evening of dancing out of you, didn't I!" responded Ed with a grin.  "I'll pop round and see you tomorrow but I must go now: Deeana and the lads are waiting for me and Peck's wife will be wanting to get him home as soon as she's finished here.  Looks like he's had too much excitement, and you know that it isn't good for him, at his age!"  He gestured towards Gregory 'Peck' Tucker, Tom 'Chalky' White and Sidney 'Errol' Flynn waiting at the door.  Errol had one arm around Maggie, the large lady, and he leant heavily on a stick.  Whatever he was whispering in her ear made her giggle and nearly drop the tray of coffee cups that she was clearing away from their table.  Evidently he had been forgiven.  Peck was holding his daughter at arms' length while she was trying to wrestle the car keys out of his pockets and they were both laughing.  Meanwhile Chalky was reading the notices on the wall for Karate, Mother and Toddler Group and the scout jumble sale.

"Get away with you!" said Katya, "he's younger than you by at least 5 years!"

"Well, he might be but I'll never admit it!" Ed responded with a cheeky grin.  He gave Katya a quick peck on the cheek and she smiled up at him, "See you tomorrow?" she asked tentatively?

"You bet!" and Ed loped off with a wave of his hand.

 

Back at the flat, Ed flopped down into his chair with a mug of cocoa and he smiled happily to himself as he picked up a three-month old, back copy of the Times Educational Supplement.  He read the advertisement that had finally released him from his long held position of College Principal with great satisfaction and then made his way to bed.  As he meticulously located his jacket and trousers onto a coat hanger, a ticket fluttered onto the floor.

 

Number 13 might be unlucky for some, thought Ed, but with his new address at Greenacres Retirement Home, flat 13 (next to Katya in Flat 14), ticket 13 for 13^th November had definitely been lucky for him!